Sermon Follow-up: Resources To Go With the 7th Commandment
This past Sunday, I preached on the 7th commandment which specifically prohibits adultery, but also intends for us to refrain from all sexual immorality, as well as commanding all out efforts to love purely those whom God has given us to love well. It’s obviously a huge topic with many questions that I was not able to deal with in a 30-minute sermon. And since around 35% of internet downloads are pornography, and the average child is exposed to pornography around age 9-10, we must be having these conversations. So, I thought it would be helpful to list resources that you can consult for more help navigating these waters of sexual purity, whether for yourself or for your children.
The first book I would recommend is The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy & Kathy Keller. It’s my go-to book for premarital counseling and is just an excellent source of relationship wisdom. Another book that is somewhat broad but very biblical (and the most philosophical book on this list) is Nancy Pearcey’s Honor Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions About Life and Sexuality. A short but powerful book whose title is pretty descriptive of the content is Why Does God Care Who I Sleep With? by Sam Allberry. And if you’re looking for an excellent and free book, Desiring God is offering John Piper’s book Sex and the Supremacy of Christ here.
Next, I would recommend two books that go into depth about not only the effects of pornography, but how our desires and life stories, and the gospel, play into our relationship to immoral sexual behavior- Surfing For God by Michael Ian Cusick and Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Leads To Our Healing by Jay Stringer. PCA Pastor David White has written a trio of books with small group study guides that are highly recommended by a counselor in our church (I have not read them, but I trust her recommendations)- God You and Sex, Sexual Sanity for Men, and Sexual Sanity for Women.
An excellent book written (mainly) for unmarried people is Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity by Lauren Winner. And an excellent book written for Christians who are same-sex attracted and desire to remain faithful and celibate is Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill.
A paradigm-setting book (and one that has been used extensively in our youth ministry) for preteens, teens, and parents is Sex, Dating, and Relationships by Gerald Hiestand and Jay S. Thomas. I also recommend Ross’ YouTube channel, The Nerdy Pastor, where he has a 3-part series on fighting pornography as well as some other excellent videos on relationships for teenagers. Two helpful blog posts discussing talking to your kids about sex are here and here. (I’m also excited about a book that comes out in November from a former attender of our church that I think will be of great help to churches and families: Talking Back to Purity Culture: Rediscovering Faithful Christian Sexuality by Rachel Joy Welcher)
If you are more into listening than reading, let me suggest a few other resources for you. The Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF) has some excellent talks available from their conference on sexuality- they are available here (Caroline specifically recommends the talks “Redeeming Sex in Marriage,” “Redeeming Sex for Singles,” “Lies the Church and Culture Tell,” “Mom and Dad...What's Sex,” “Recovering From Sexual Abuse,” and “Solo Sex”). Harvest USA has a whole section on their website dedicated to short videos and blog posts on a variety of topics relating to sex and sexuality- here.
There are definitely many more resources that are available and that can be helpful. But, this is a good start. Let’s keep the conversation going!